Okay, I’m going to have to do this differently to how I did it last month because as I predicted, I’ve lost the run of myself with HR fanfics. So, first up, this needs to be a separate post because I can’t put 78 fics at the end of my reading stats post. It would be never ending! This post is never ending as it is! I also think the best thing to do is stop listing the tags (you’ll find them all in the link anyway) so I’ll just list the title (with link), author, summary for those that have them, and wordcount. I’m also going to give a ‘private note’ for as many as I can. As it’s fanfic I don’t want to rate. I decided to put the notes before the summary because I think it reads a little clearer.
Reading fanfics really does mess with my overall reading numbers but it’s also very comforting right now so I’m just going with it. A massive bonus though, is the amount of money I’ve saved this month is STARTLING!! It’s three figures startling!
Fics read in March: 78
Words read in March: 1,160,291
Approx. pages read in March: 3,315
Drunk In Love by afewpagesmore
Private Note: Didn’t realise that this wasn’t complete. Reread and catchup. Make note of where left off. currently 7 chapters.
Shane and Ilya have been in a relationship for two years now. Life is beautiful and full of moments that make up for all the lost time. As both the men walk together in life, they must learn that perfection is overrated and to be truly in love, means to be truly honest to oneself.
Words: 6,981
That’s My Fucking Husband by CrazyJ
Private Note: Montreal sucks. A look at Shane’s first game against a bunch of homophobic assholes who only ever won the cup because of him.
It happens against Montreal, because of course it does. Shane Hollander has accumulated hundreds of penalty minutes across his career, same as every other hockey player, but none have ever been from fighting. That is until a bad hit by his former teammates leaves his husband laid out on the ice and a comment that crosses the line has Shane dropping his gloves for the first (and hopefully last) time.
Words: 9,943
I’ll Talk (Like You’re Not Listening) by OpalApparition
Private note: This was beautiful! Spoiler: Ilya listens to (and treasures) the voicemails.
Hi. This is Ilya. I will never listen to your voicemail.
The greeting wasn’t a joke or an exaggeration—it was the truth. Shane leaves messages anyway, confessions to a digital void that will never judge him, and never push him away.
At least, that’s what he thinks.
Words: 4,259
the proposal by UglyGreenJacket
Private note: Social media fic with coding. These are my favourite!
Ilya: I think Shane is going to break up with me.
Bood: I’m sorry…what?
Hayes: You think Shane Hollander is going to break up with you?
Hayes: Shane Hollander.
Hayes: The Shane Hollander who learned Russian for you?
Bood: The Shane Hollander who drives back and forth from Montreal any chance he gets to see you?
Barrett: The Shane Hollander who started a charity with you and named it after your mother?
Bood: The Shane Hollander who just generally puts up with you and seems mostly happy about it?
Ilya: It does boggle the mind.
Ilya: But yes, I’m almost certain of it.
Words: 5,920
Let’s Go Boston (Rose Gets to Know) by hyunknow
Private note: Cute. I love Rose and I love that she was so supportive and excited for Shane!
The invite to have dinner at his apartment in Montreal comes as a welcome surprise.
“Next time you can make it up here.” Shane’s voice crackles through the phone, “Something low key, we can just order dinner in and watch a movie or something.”
“Ugh, that sounds amazing.” Rose grins, “Maybe we can watch a game if there’s no schedule for you. It’s been forever since I’ve been able to catch one live instead of just watching the highlights.”
Shane laughs, “Sure, if there’s one playing we can put it on.”
Or.
Shane invites Rose over to tell her about his ‘new’ relationship.
Words: 2,607
keeping a low profile (the sunglasses have rhinestones) by OpalApparition
Private note: Hilarious and the same author as WolfBird.
There are many ways to support your favorite player. Attending their games, for instance. Buying their jersey. Or, if you’re trying to keep a secret relationship under wraps, you could drive four hours in the opposite direction, wrap yourself in a dollar store blanket with eyeholes cut in it, and attempt to blend in with the locals.
It’s foolproof. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
The internet would never figure it out.
Words: 3,153
Dad’s Trip by Argabarg
Private note: Really cute David and Ilya bonding.
Grigori Rozanov had never gone on the Dad’s Trip when Ilya played in Boston. In all fairness, Ilya had never invited him because he never wanted his father to come.
Even if he did ask, Grigori wouldn’t have made the trip across the Atlantic just to be disappointed by Ilya in person. He was very capable of being disappointed in Ilya half a world away; that much had been made abundantly clear.
Years later someone else might be there to step up.
Words: 9,399
Chemistry, huh? (or how Ilya Rozanov gets added to the Hollander family group chat) by you-cant-spell-subtext-without (ayreisha)
Private note: More family bonding. More cuteness.
“Uh, Ilya? More vodka?” David offers tentatively.
“Sure, okay. Maybe one more,” Ilya says. He’s not entirely sure what’s considered an acceptable drink limit for the occasion of ‘Surprise! Your son is gay and I’ve been fucking him in secret under the nose of the entire MLH and Scott Hunter in the hotel room next door, and I’m in love with him, actually,’ but given the look on his face, well – David might need the second drink more than Ilya does at this present moment.
Words: 2,397
if you ever try to leave me again by My_Chemical_Comeback
Private note: Ugly crying. Ilya gets badly injured, super interesting fact that is highlighted in the notes, the injury he gets has actually happened and the player also survived.
Shane heard a strangled shout tear free from his mouth, and then his body was moving without his brain’s input. He flew across the ice, ripping his gloves off and reaching for Ilya’s throat. He wrapped his fingers around the warm skin, feeling the flow of blood pulse harder with each beat of Ilya’s heart. His eyes raced across Ilya’s face, desperately looking for a sign that his boyfriend was still with him. Ilya’s eyes were wide and glazed, staring past Shane instead of at him. His face was losing color rapidly, turning a sickly shade of white that mirrored the ice beneath him. His mouth was open, loose and slack, mouthguard still jammed into his upper jaw. Shane watched in terror as Ilya grew limper in his arms.
——————————————————
During a Boston-Montreal game, Ilya’s neck is cut by a skate, and Shane is forced to witness the love of his life bleeding out on the ice in front of him. All of the plans they have made seem to be slipping away before his eyes, right when they were so close to finalizing Ilya’s transfer to Ottawa. As they race against the clock to save Ilya’s life, Shane reckons with the secrets they have been forced to keep and fears that they might never get to live their truth out in the open.
Words: 56,772
keeping up with shane hollander by everythingeverywhere
Private Note: Social media fic without coding. I can 100% see Ilya doing this!
Lily
E! News: Are Rose Landry and Shane Hollander finally tying the knot?
You are having wedding and not inviting me?
Shane
Fuck off.
or, ilya has his google alerts set to notify him of all the latest and greatest shane hollander news
Words: 891
Our Captain, Their Problem by Bruja_oscura
private note: started emotional ended up being very cute. hayden and jj made me lol.
Ilya Rozanov has a “tiny car accident” (his words). Shane Hollander has a full-scale, system-shutdown panic attack about it. Meanwhile, a horrified Hayden is praying for someone to throw him in a lake and tell him that this is all just a big joke, or maybe for a meteor strike; he is really not picky. J.J., on the other hand, is trying to bleach the image of his sweet captain making out with Ilya fucking Rozanov from his brain.
It’s a very normal day for the Montreal Canadiens.
Words: 8,868
The Newlywed Games by broccolicheddarchicken
Private note: How Harris thought this was a good idea I do not know! 😀 Funny and poignant in parts. Touches on Shane’s disordered eating which I do like to see addressed.
Shane and Ilya, freshly married and days away from their first game together, agree to make a silly video as a couple for the Centaurs’ social media.
Words: 6,448
Scotty Fucking Knows by Oaks118
Private note: Not cool Scott Hunter! Very far fetched but love unhinged protective Ilya so I’m in!
Shane’s voice was almost a whisper as he admitted, “I fucked up.”
Ilya stopped in his tracks, “What do you mean?”
“He knows. Scott Hunter fucking knows.”
Words: 9,268
(ass)inine confessions by badmetaphors
private note: hilarious!! i’d say poor hayden but he deserves it. :p
“You ARE a pervert.”
“Yes, but I am Shane’s pervert. Is different.”
“That’s not the defense you think it is.”
“And when we—” Ilya stopped himself, grinned. “Is probably too much information, yes?”
“WAY too much information.”
Ilya delivers a TED Talk titled “Shane Hollander 101” and Hayden is the unwilling audience
Words: 3,551
Baby Games by Bliss_Ink
Private note: I liked this a lot, my heart hurt a lot for Ilya. I’m not sure using your famous best friends eggs is a great idea but she is a real one for doing it. Spoiler: I’m glad they went with the swirl!
Shane and Ilya are playing together in Ottawa. They’re married. They’re happy. But is it time for the next step? This starts one year after The Long Game book ends.
Words: 11,757
Love in the Dark by azraelriego
private note: not sure how i feel about this, i think i’m too long out of the mpreg game to truly appreciate it. great angst though.
Shane Hollander always had a strategy. He had a strategy for winning the Cup, a strategy for managing the press, and a strategy for keeping his relationship with his rival-turned-boyfriend, Ilya Rozanov, strictly in the dark. He really was good at managing it all… Right up until the moment a medical impossibility turned into a positive pregnancy test, and the only man Shane ever loved asked him to do the one thing he couldn’t: tell the truth.
Five years post-breakup, Shane is technically winning. He has the trophies, the privacy, and their brilliant daughter, Airi. And he is perfectly co-parenting with his ex, Ilya Rozanov. The rules are simple: minimal contact, polite text messages about their daughter, and absolutely no acknowledging about their past.
Until Yuna Hollander decides to intervene. Suddenly, the ocean Shane put between them is gone. Shane’s new strategy is simple: survive seven days with Ilya without falling apart.
Words: 250,555
what if he’s written mine on my upper thigh by wafflesofdoom
PRIVATE NOTE: LOVED!!! A GREAT REMINDER ABOUT HOW DIFFERENT CULTURES HAVE DIFFERENT CUSTOMS AND I VERY MUCH ENJOYED HOW ILYA RESPONDED.
“Ilya,” Shane said, sounding strangled, as he spoke. “What – why did you do this?”
“Because,” Ilya shrugged. “I will not have anyone doubting my love, or commitment to you. I wear my ring on my right hand, because I am Russian – but I will tattoo your initials on my left, so there can be no doubt about who I belong to. I am yours, and I will not allow anyone to doubt that.”
or – the press has a lot to say about the fact Ilya wears his wedding ring on his right hand. Ilya responds.
Words: 3,709
blood on the ice by ghosttotheparty
PRIVATE NOTE: CRIED. I’m probably too fond of the ilya gets hurt fics for it to be healthy.
Lily: i am alive
Lily: hurt
Lily: but they gave me drugs it’s nice
Lily: i want you
Lily: my hands miss yours
or; ilya gets injured on the ice. shane can’t handle it.
Words: 11,930
ten out of ten by gurlsrool
PRIVATE NOTE: I WILL NEVER TIRE OF FERAL ILYA. I’VE READ A LOT. THIS IS ONE OF THEM I PARTICULARLY ENJOYED. ALL GURLSROOL FICS THAT FOLLOW ARE SOCIAL MEDIA FICS WHICH I ADORE AND the secret society of stick handlers ARE AWESOME.
Ilya: He should buy lottery tickets because he is the luckiest man on earth
Ilya: He should get on his knees and thank god everyday that he got to fuck you
Shane: Oh my God stop
Ilya: What? I do that
Or: The man who topped Shane in Mexico posts about his experience, Ilya contemplates murder, and the other queer NHL players get caught in the crossfire.
Words: 10,798
it started with a whisper by gurlsrool
pRIVATE NOTE: ADRIAN IS ABOUT AS BIG A DICK AS HE SEEMS IN ROLE MODEL.
Scott: I’ve been getting asked if it’s me. I considered denying but if we all deny and one person doesn’t, that sort of gives their identity away and I’m not sure they want that.
Ilya: Everyone thinks is me. My agent asked if I want to comment too
Scott: Wait, it’s not you?
Ilya: Maybe 🤔 Or maybe not 🤪
Eric: What?
Or: When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.
Words: 5,834
(never) meet your heroes by gurlsrool
Private note: Social media fic, part of the secret society of stick handlers. These are like actual drugs!
Troy: How many women have you slept with anyways?
Ilya: ♾️
Luca: That’s just an infinity symbol
Ilya: Yes
In which internet discourse ensues, the gay players of the NHL bicker in the group chat, and Shane would just like to get through the weekend without his husband starting another twitter scandal.
Words: 6,225
friends in high places by gurlsrool
Private note: Social media fic, part of the secret society of stick handlers. These are like actual drugs!
Kyle: Your sense of age is so weird. So Scott’s elderly and Luca’s a baby?
Ilya: Yes
Shane: Luca’s older than we were when we got together though
Harris: He IS?
Kyle: literally wtf is this timeline
In which Harris adds Ilya and Shane to a gay WAGs group chat
(Can be read as a standalone)
Words: 6,609
and three’s a crowd by gurlsrool
Private note: Social media fic, part of the secret society of stick handlers. These are like actual drugs!
Luca: Everyone should be celebrating right now, not worrying about me. I’m so sorry
Ilya: You’re giving us more to celebrate! What is the point of us all coming out if you can’t bottom for two hot men?
Luca: I’m not sure how to answer that
In which Luca’s Stanley Cup celebrations go viral thanks to TMZ and some poorly framed photos. Luckily (and at times mortifyingly), he has all the queer NHL stars who came before him in his corner.
Words: 10,624
flashback when you met me by gurlsrool
Private note: Social media fic, part of the secret society of stick handlers. These are like actual drugs!
Ilya: You respect my opinion as your captain, yes?
Luca: Of course
Ilya: My opinion is you should let this man rail you
Shane: You can’t use your status as captain to make Luca have gay sex
Ilya: Then what is the point of being captain?!
Or: In their many, many group chats, the Centaurs guide (and embarrass) Luca through the crush he’s hellbent on denying.
(This is a prequel of when Luca and Archie first met/started dating. It can be read as a standalone)
Words: 11,324
corner of the world by berrycluv
PRIVATE NOTE: THE FICS EXPLORING SHANES AUTISM ARE REALLY VERY GOOD.
Ilya doesn’t even realize when Arthur slips from his thoughts. There’s no sharp turn, no clear moment where the article stops being about a little boy who loves reptiles and starts being about the man lying beside him in bed. It just… happens. The way his mind always seems to find Shane eventually, like water finding its lowest point.
—
a character study on shane’s undiagnosed autism
Words: 8,630
Shane Hollander, Certified Freak™ by pinkhairandbooks
Private note: Hilarious, I love when Shane lets his freak flag fly!
Five times where someone accidentally discovered that it’s always the quiet ones, and one time where Shane told them directly.
Words: 5,048
this home on ice by CorvidCordelia
Private note: Fun multi-media fic where we get to see Shane start to accept himself. LOVED the ending!
Lily: What’s a girl to do on a lonely night in Montreal?
Jane:…
Jane: Feel bad about losing?
Lily: That was not very nice, Jane.
Lily: I am starting to think you are not the nice girl everyone says you are.
Lily: If you will not fuck me I think you should send me pictures of yourself so I can jerk off to them.
Jane: I’m not doing that!!! What if someone hacks your phone???
Lily: 😢
Or: Shane Hollander learns to stop worrying and love the Art of Sext
Words: 23,358
no means no (results may vary) by frozenmorningdew
PRIVATE NOTE: AGGRESSIVE CUTENESS!
Shane and Ilya’s daughters imitate Ilya’s accent when they’re trying to get out of trouble with Shane. They keep getting away with it, unbeknownst to Ilya, until their little brother tries it on their Papa.
Words: 2,829
(i can’t get no) satisfaction by UglyGreenJacket
Private note: Funny crazy iphone coded fic. Totally crazy and I don’t think Shane would ever allow himself to be fined by the NHL BUT I like how he stuck up for his man!
[An image of Ilya Rozanov from 2016, leaving a nightclub in Boston. He is flanked on either side by two women. His right arm is casually slung around the shoulders of one, while the other holds onto his left arm. He is winking at the camera.]
@NHLInsider It’s been a rough week for Ilya Rozanov after a storybook start to the season. After suffering bruised ribs during Ottawa’s game against Montreal on Thursday, now one of his former flames has come forward claiming he was a less-than-stellar partner.
TikTok user @bostonbethany posted a video on Saturday detailing her encounter with Rozanov back in 2017. She says he didn’t pay for her drinks, was constantly checking his phone, could barely make conversation after leading her to believe he was interested in a relationship, failed to satisfy her in the bedroom after trying for nearly an hour, and never called her again.
This comes as Rozanov is out for at least two weeks with his injury, while the Centaurs, including his husband Shane Hollander, head to Berlin for two games against Detroit as part of the NHL’s Global Series.
We’ll let you know if we hear anything back from Rozanov’s camp.
Words: 5,660
Drinks at the American Museum of Natural History (Kingfisher) by RomanceLover21
Private note: Super quick look at Ilya being a menace and an ally! When it comes to Ilya, these two things aren’t mutually exclusive!
The conversation between Scott and Ilya, the first time Ilya decides he wants to go to the kingfisher.
Scott is very very confused.
Ilya just wants to make friends, he just has a very backward way of showing it.
Words: 529
your heart is a muscle (it has the strength of your courage) by eurydicees
PRIVATE NOTE: ANGST WITH HEA!
It’s not something that they ever talk about. They don’t need to acknowledge it, and no one else ever needs to know. Or, no one else needs to know until suddenly Shane is in the hospital and no one will let Ilya see him.
(Ilya and Shane are soulmates. It doesn’t change everything, but it changes enough.)
Words: 12,717
Shane Hollander : Most Wanted by avid_reader64
PRIVATE NOTE: MADE ME LOL! Unhinged jealous ilya is awesome. coded iphone fic.
Set after Shane comes out to his team. Now that more and more people find out he is gay, he is also getting a lot more male attention.
Meanwhile Ilya gets progressively more jealous and wants to remind everyone exactly who Shane Hollander belongs to.
Also they’re idiots in love
or
5 times Shane had to reject a guy giving him attention
+1 time everyone found out why
Words: 10,325
Centaurs & SAPs vs The Timeline by fandom_commitment_issues
Private note: The Centaurs trying to figure out timelines is always hilarious. Text group fic.
After a year and a half of playing with Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, the Centaurs could agree on one thing about the couple: everyone still knew almost nothing about their relationship.
The conclusion was very clear: if they wanted answers, it was time to send in the SAPs.
OR
5 times the Centaurs send their partners on an investigation for the truth about Shane and Ilya’s relationship, and one time the team gets the answers for themselves. And then they freak out about it in the group chat.
Words 19,996
The Distance Between Us by Bruja_oscura
PRIVATE NOTE: SO MANY TEARS! MY POOR HEART BUT ILYA IS AMAZING. THERE IS A SECOND PART TO THIS AND A YUNA POV EXPECTED.
Ilya Rozanov has spent ten years circling Shane Hollander. Ten years of hotel rooms and secret phone calls. Ten years of pretending he doesn’t feel it, doesn’t need it, doesn’t wake up reaching for someone who’s already gone. Ten years convincing himself he’s not good enough. That he’s not worth it.
Then a plane needs to make an emergency landing near Montreal, and Yuna Hollander is on it.
So when Shane calls him from a bathroom floor, unable to breathe, Ilya stops pretending.
After five hundred miles of frozen highway, three and a half hours of driving like a man possessed, a hospital waiting room full of people who have every reason to hate him, and a boy who looks at him like he’s something worth keeping, Ilya may have learned a thing or two about what it means to be loved—and to let himself love freely.
Words: 26,467
It’s Simple by SuspiciousCharacter1895
Private note: Communication!!! The aftermath of Vegas was rough, I like the idea of them actually talking about it.
“I felt…bad. It felt bad. I had missed you so much and then I finally saw you again and you -” Shane cut himself off. “I know you didn’t mean to,” he started again. “I know you weren’t trying to be… I don’t know. You didn’t mean to.”
“I didn’t mean to what?” Ilya’s pulse quickened. Shane wouldn’t meet his eye.
Shane took a deep breath. “You didn’t mean to hurt me.”
Ilya felt the words like a sucker punch to the stomach. He swallowed hard, fighting to keep his voice level. “I hurt you?”
___________
An offhand comment from Yuna triggers a conversation between Shane and Ilya about that night in Ilya’s Vegas penthouse after the MLH awards. Ilya knew he had fucked up, but maybe not how much. Maybe now he can make up for it.
Words: 5,014
Heaven Has Got Nothing On Us (Oh, I Love You Even When My by overlycaffeinatedgalaxy
PRIVATE NOTE: POSSIBLY THE TOP FIC FOR MARCH. WILL ABSOLUTELY READ AGAIN. JUST PURE GOODNESS!
The moment Ilya slips the wedding band onto Shane’s finger, it feels like the world goes quiet for the first time in his life.
Peaceful in a way Shane has never known.
They’re married. Husbands.
And Shane is excited for all of the firsts that lie ahead of them as a married couple.
—
OR: A Bunch of “Firsts” from the First Year of Shane and Ilya’s Marriage
Words: 39,630
Ilya Rozanov: Hollanov Truther by Soncasong
PRIVATE NOTE: SHAYDEN IS CRAZY AND I MAY HAVE TO READ SOME IN THE FUTURE! 🙈Here we see how Ilya deals with the idea of it. Spoiler: Not well! Social media fic!
“Shane?”
“Yes, Ilya?”
“What the fuck is a Shayden?”
Words: 7,341
And I could give you my apologies by midnighttypewriter
PRIVATE NOTE: NEED TO READ MORE CLIFF FICS BECAUSE i LOVE HIM!
After the first game Ilya plays in Boston since moving to Ottawa, he and Cliff Marlow talk.
Technically takes place within the “Shane’s Lily”/”Yuna’s Boys” universe, but works as a standalone.
Words: 2,223
Shane’s Lily by midnighttypewriter
Private note: Canon Divergence – Yuna is amazing!
After Shane’s accident on ice, Yuna sees Lily messaging him and decides to make a phone call.
Words: 15,092
Safe Enough to Sink by hollzy81
Private Note: Goodness gracious me! Short and HAWT!
Post-sex, Shane wakes up nonverbal and floaty in Ilya’s arms at the cottage.
Words: 1,380
Diary of a Wolf-Bird by DrtLilRhod
PRIVATE NOTE: SO WEIRD AND I KIND OF LOVED IT!
The loon’s POV of Shane and Ilya’s interaction at the cottage.
Words: 864
Dinner Tonight? by FriPie
Private note: The boys come to the realisation that they can and should date, has to be a competitive though!
There was nothing standard about Shane and Ilya’s relationship, so it really shouldn’t have been so surprising that they had their first date over a decade after meeting each other.
It also shouldn’t be surprising that it took roughly five minutes before it turned into a competition.
Words: 15,122
Pretty by sunflowerfrogs
PRIVATE NOTE: ILYA MAKING EVERYONE AWKWARD AND THEN IT GETS ALL SWEET. AGAIN, FERAL ILYA IS WHERE IT’S AT.
“Tell my husband that he is very pretty. Prettiest in the entire NHL.” Ilya stopped and leaned against the wall, giving Troy his most serious face.
“What?” Troy asked, face twisting in confusion.
Words: 2,656
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do, to make you feel my love by k1kaaaaaa
PRIVATE NOTE: I DON’T KNOW WHY I LIKE THIS DEGREE OF ANGST, WHY DO I LIKE TO HURT MYSELF? THIS WAS TERRIBLE, i LOVED IT!
“If I make it out of this alive mama, I’ll cherish every moment we have, whether it’s in the sun or in dark corners. I will earn his love, on his terms, just please let me make it right. I love you mama, and I miss you so much, but not yet. Please don’t take me yet. Let me hold him one more time.”
Or: The plane crash in the Long Game, but what if Shane didn’t immediately know that Ilya was okay.
Words: 22,160
THE SILENCE IS OVER by EchoInTheMoonlight
Private note: Montreal sucked. JJ beyond sucked. Shane ends up where he belongs and he gets a well deserved HEA for being brave!
Shane Hollander is done hiding. After a decade of suffocating under the colors of the Montreal Metros, a locker room defined by toxic silence and the bigotry of teammates like JJ, Shane finally makes the jump everyone said would break the league. He’s signs with the Ottawa Centaurs, joining the one man who has always been his secret sanctuary: Ilya Rozanov.
But the transition isn’t just about changing jerseys. It’s about Shane reclaiming the center ice position he was born to play and learning what it feels like to be part of a room that actually has his back. From a high-stakes practice where Ilya proves Shane is “made of stone,” to an ambitious, room-by-room tour of their now shared Ottawa home, the two of them are finally building a life out in the open.
The ultimate test arrives when the Centaurs head back to Montreal for a grudge match that the Commissioner claims will ruin the sport. Between homophobic chirps at the face-off dot and a front office hoping for a scandal, Shane and Ilya have a different plan. They aren’t just looking for a win; they’re looking for a statement.
In a building that once tried to break him, Shane is about to show the world that the truth is the most dangerous weapon on the ice.
Words: 19,654
In Vino Veritas by AutumnFoxed
Private note: Awwww… Ilya really loves his man, even when he doesn’t know it’s him taking care of him.
Shane reached out without thinking, his fingers brushing against the rough fabric of Ilya’s jacket sleeve.
Ilya flinched away. “Dun’ touch me!”
Shane blinked, thrown. “What the – ”
“I already have boyfriend!” Ilya declared, pulling his jacket around himself like a shield. “Are practically engaged!”
Shane just stared. “Ilya. It’s me.”
“Only my boyfriend may unwrap me.” Ilya announced. “Is respect.”
Ilya gets drunk and refuses to be touched by anyone except his boyfriend. Unfortunately for Shane, Ilya does not realize his boyfriend is the one taking him home.
Words: 3,172
Trinkets by Verkaiking
PRIVATE NOTE: JESUS, THE ONE-SHOTS ARE OFTEN THE ONES THAT WILL GET YOU RIGHT IN THE FEELS. LOVELY!
Loosely based on an idea from jen_vader over on Threads, in which Ilya and Shane find out they were secretly saving little mementos from all their hookups. Set post-cottage when Ilya is already living in Ottawa as a Centaur and Shane is still with Montreal.
Words: 1,998
Standards by fffpppp
Private note: This ended up being so wholesome and a lovely look at female friendship.
A look into the group chat of some Boston women who hooked up with pre-2017!Rozanov, as they realise that he is the standard for what a good partner should be.
OR
Ilya Rozanov may just win the title for World’s Best Husband.
Words: 4,382
Here, After by BlckOnyx
PRIVATE NOTE: A LOT OF ANGST AND PTSD. LOVELY BUT IT HURT MY FEELINGS A LOT!
Ilya opened one of his messages.
Have you seen the news?
Ilya, call me. Now.
Please tell me you already fucking know.
Jesus Christ, man.
That was it. No context. No explanation. Just panic wrapped in vague bullshit.
His jaw locked. “Are you fucking serious right now,” he muttered, thumb scrolling harder than necessary. Say it or don’t, you assholes. The half-answers made his skin crawl. It felt like they were all circling something awful, whispering around it, waiting for him to step close enough to get hit.
His chest felt tight now, pressure building, so he did the one thing that made sense. He opened social media.
Shane Hollander’s name was everywhere.
Or
Shane was hurt in ways everyone could see, and in ways only Ilya would carry.
Words: 21,807
Pub(l)ic Property: Groin by orangememory
PRIVATE NOTE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Social Media Fic.
in which Shane Hollander’s pubic hair goes viral, the internet colour-matches it to Pantone 15-1214 (Warm Sand), and Ilya Rozanov – creates accounts on Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr, AND YouTube to anonymously defend his not-boyfriend’s crotch using genetics Wikipedia and advanced hockey analytics.
Features: a one-star Calvin Klein review (“very poor elastic, ruined my life”), Svetlana and Rose who have never once been wrong, and the most romantic use of the word “melanocytes” in the history of the English language according to Ilya Rozanov.
Words: 11,506
If I was worm by peachmintfizz
PRIVATE NOTE: I DIDN’T KNOW THIS TREND WAS A THING. NOW I DO. POOR SHANE HAS HIS HANDS FULL!
Ilya
Shane
Shane
Yeah?
Why are you texting me? I’m literally just in the kitchen.
Ilya
Would you still love me if I was worm
–
Ilya has a very important question for Shane.
Words: 1,244
Question of the Day by wilmonstan12345
Private note: Wholesome and fun. I like that QOTD became a superstition, I mean that feels super accurate!
Harris launches a new series for the Centaurs’ social media: having the team answer his question of the day!
This follows the season after The Long Game, when Shane joins the team on their road to the Stanley Cup, as they answer questions like who’s the hottest/funniest/most perceptive Centaur, different preferences, rituals, and more.
Words: 50,205
A Completely Normal Team Video by leialoo7
Private note: Harris does a quick social media video pre- season. Shocking news, Shane and Ilya are equally competitive and a lot of it is just foreplay.
Harris decides to film a harmless video to show the fans that Shane and Ilya are a sweet and loving married couple. He kind of gets that?
—
“We don’t want fans panicking every time you’re at each other’s throats,” Harris continued, “because they don’t realize that’s actually how you two show affection. We already lived through that misunderstanding once.”
He walked over to the camera. “So we thought it might be fun to do a quick little video. I’ll ask some easy questions, you guys respond however you like. It should be playful and light but it’s fine if you guys can’t help teasing each other a little. Be yourselves. Everyone already knows about you as individuals but what people haven’t seen yet is how you are as a couple.”
Shane scrunched his nose in distaste.
“We can keep it to on-ice questions,” Harris offered quickly.
“That’s fine,” Ilya said.
Harris took a seat behind the camera and checked the framing one more time. “Alright. Ready?”
Words: 1,834
The Ottawa Centaurs’ Relationship Chart by leialoo7
Private note: Prequel to the above. The team learns how Ilya and Shane flirt. There is a colour coded chart. 😀
Shane and Ilya are thrilled to be on the same team this year but can’t resist a little on-ice fighting. The team is very concerned.
—
“Great,” Troy muttered. “They’re going to kill each other.”
Across the boards from him, Harris squeaked, “Should we, like, do something? Call Coach? Call–”
“A therapist?” Troy interjected.
“I’m serious!” exclaimed Harris.
“So am I,” said Troy. “Those two have been on opposing teams for their entire professional careers. I don’t think they have any idea how to turn off their competitive bickering. This is going to be an interesting season.”
Words: 2,416
and here’s to my real friends by writinginasnowglobe
Private note: Fun Centaurs texting fic. Need to look into the series this is attached to.
Shane loved the Centaurs. He really did. They felt like a second family, and Shane would never take that for granted.
They had one flaw, however. Boundaries, for some reason, seemed to be a foreign concept to the entire team.
Words: 1,616
Ask Me Anything by yoonglessskoo
Private note: Over the top sweetness. Loved it! Social media-ish fic.
Shane is in his first Season with the Ottawa Centaurs and Harris asks him to do a Q&A video for the fans to open up to them a bit now he’s out and proud. It’s chaotic, mainly because Ilya is sitting off screen making silly comments and Shane wants to end him. This is the transcript and subsequent comments of that video.
Or: ‘Hi, I’m Shane Hollander and this, is ‘Ask Me Anything’.
Words: 3,552
Duty of Care by boopboop
PRIVATE NOTE: OH BOY! tHIS WAS NOT AT ALL EASY. THIS IS A DEEP DIVE INTO ILYA’S DEPRESSION AND IT IS SO ACCURATE THAT IT’S TRIGGERING. AN AMAZING PIECE OF WORK BUT PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
Ilya Rozanov, get loved.
Words: 145,224
POV: You have been invited to the wedding of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov by wilmonstan12345
Private note: Text fic. I also believe that this is how they would do it! 😀
I firmly believe that Shane and Ilya invited their loved ones to their wedding via text.
Here is how I think it went.
Words: 1,890
6 Cases of Gingerale by ILookTheType
PRIVATE NOTE: PEOPLE WHO CAN CONVEY SO MUCH WITH SO FEW WORDS ARE WIZARDS. A PERFECT ONE-SHOT FROM QUEEN JACKIE’S POV!
When Shane left Montréal to play for Ottawa Jackie’s recurring grocery list reflects the loss, and her fridge and pantry are stocked for weekly dinners that no longer happen. It’s hard to adjust to the new normal when the reminders of abhorrent behavior from grown men are like neon signs every time she gets a snack for her kids.
Words: 1,314
The Godfathers by UglyGreenJacket
Private note: This was lovely. I hated Jackie’s mother!
“Where is my baby?” Ilya asks as soon as he opens the door to the Pikes’ SUV when it pulls into the parking lot of Christ Church Cathedral.
“Lovely to see you too, Rozanov,” Hayden says as he opens his car door.
“Hi, Hayden,” Shane says from behind Ilya. “Lovely to see you. Please ignore my husband.”
Ilya can’t even be bothered to snark back at either of them, because today is his big day.
Well, mostly. It’s sort of Amber’s day, too, he guesses, and kind of Shane’s as well if one were to look at it from a very specific angle, but mostly it’s Ilya’s.
And as Amber gives him a cheesy grin when she sees him (a new development as of the last couple of weeks), Ilya knows even his boring husband and his boring husband’s loser best friend can’t ruin this perfect day.
Because today, Ilya’s becoming a godfather.
Words: 8,522
bird calls to attract human men by TemporaryAltars
Private note: Social media fic. Super quick and fun!
Heated Rivalry, as told by Shane’s Google searches throughout the years.
Words: 768
and i saw forever, a beautiful time-lapse by writinginasnowglobe
Private note: Love me some Wyatt. Part of the stay with me, in our comfort crowd fic. We get to see Ilya and Shane through Wyatt’s eyes. Obviously it’s adorable because Wyatt is a top tier ally!
And so, that brings Wyatt here, where he is sitting on a sofa with Lisa on his lap, in the living room of Ilya and Shane’s Ottawa home, watching Shane Hollander on The Tonight Show. A genuinely insane string of words that he would never have thought to put together just ten months ago.
But, Wyatt knows how to adapt, so here he is.
Or, Wyatt Hayes and his observations on Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov.
Words: 7,385
oh my god you should see your faces by writinginasnowglobe
Private note: An absolutely STUNNING social media fic. I’ll be reading it again because I had a freaking blast!!! The amount of work that goes into these coded fics blows my mind!!
A few months after the FanMail incident, Yuna Hollander decides to do what she does best. With the added benefit of having another son to lovingly manage, of course. The internet, unsurprisingly, loses its shit.
Or, Shane and Ilya go on the press run to end all press runs, courtesy of Yuna Hollander.
Words: 25,561
practice makes miserable by UglyGreenJacket
Private note: Ilya’s love of Shane’s glasses will never not make me laugh! Freaking out that other people will see him in his glasses was unhinged and hilarious 😀
“What are you wearing?” Ilya asks, his voice sounding strangled.
Shane looks down, confused. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing? I always–”
“Why are you wearing your glasses?” Ilya interrupts, and Shane notices the tension in his entire body when he speaks.
“I ran out of contacts,” Shane says.
“So you are wearing glasses to practice?”
“Yeah, it’s just one practice,” he says defensively, even though he’s done nothing wrong. “I’ll grab a pair of contacts from the eye doctor this afternoon.”
“Right,” Ilya says, his eyes laser-focused on Shane’s face as his lips set in a tight line.
“Is that a problem?” Shane quips, and it comes off kind of bitchy, but he’s so confused as to why Ilya would have any issue with him wearing his glasses to one practice. He normally loves Shane in glasses.
Ilya seems to shake himself out of whatever weird-ass mood he’d fall into. He smiles, but it looks strained. “Of course not. Let’s go.”
___
Or, Shane has to wear his glasses to practice and Ilya absolutely cannot deal with it.
Words: 3,613
@definitelynotilyarozanov by oxfordcommachameleon
Private note: Fun coded social media fic – not marked as finished yet.
Ilya never meant for this to get so far. So big.
It had started off with a couple hate tweets here and there. Nothing unusual, every hockey player had haters, especially ones as prominent and talented as him and Hollander.
Ilya never listened to what people on the Internet said. Why should he care what random people behind a screen thought of him? Especially when they were Scott Hunter fans. Or worse, Pike fans.
He thought it was the same for Shane, who barely ever used social media in the first place, let alone look up his name on them to see what people were saying about him. But Ilya was wrong.
or
Ilya creates a secret Shane Hollander fan account to defend his boyfriend’s honor while still hating on Scott Hunter and destroying Hayden Pike
Words: 4,465
Never Forgotten (except the sound of her voice) by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Private note: Oh boy, big feelings! Beautiful and heartbreaking!
‘I have seen your charity in her name, Mama should not be forgotten.’
The note was short and to the point, no love for Ilya from his brother was scrawled into the familiar letters. But there was love for their mother there, and there was the fact that Andrei had sent it at all.
–
Ilya’s brother sends a parcel containing home video from Ilya’s childhood to Canada. Ilya never expected to receive a parcel from his brother after five years of no contact, and He never expected to hear his mother’s voice again.
Words: 5,108
fairy godfather by itspeterlosingwendy
Private note: Coded iphone fic. I will never tire of Ilya being an over the top ‘uncle’. Would read again!Part of ilya rozanov: earning his #1 papa mug
[Text] Ilya: oh, I cannot do nice thing for my godchild???
[Text] Hayden: How is she your godchild? Our kids don’t have godparents
[Text] Ilya: exactly. position was up for grab, so I grab
——
or, Ilya is determined to buy the Pike children’s love
Words: 1,569
ilya’s ipad baby by itspeterlosingwendy
Private note: Part of ilya rozanov: earning his #1 papa mug
[Tweet] @roz81: My son has turned into iPad baby. How do I stop this? Somebody give me phone number of Apple. Tell them to destroy iPads
[Tweet] @HerezPilton: Breaking News! confirmation of multiple illegitimate children from Ilya Rozanov. Go to the link in bio for full article!
or, Ilya is an online menace much to everyone’s dismay
Words: 2,840
you’re giving me grey hairs by itspeterlosingwendy
Private note: Part of ilya rozanov: earning his #1 papa mug
[Tweet] @roz81: I am coming moi malyshi. do not get into any strange white vans in meantime
[Tweet] @roselandrysmistress: Why does he sound like my mother
[Tweet] @TroyBbaby: Years of practicing and perfecting
—–
or the young Centaurs players have made it a goal in life to stress Ilya and Shane out at all times.
Words: 1,801
ilya vs omegaverse by itspeterlosingwendy
Private note: Part of ilya rozanov: earning his #1 papa mug
[Tweet] @roz81: what is omegaverse
[Tweet] @rozbaddiesunite: SHHHH nobody tell him!!
—–
or Ilya discovers the omegaverse and makes the idea of a pregnant Shane everyone’s problem
Words: 2,227
a one man advice column by itspeterlosingwendy
Private note: Part of ilya rozanov: earning his #1 papa mug
[Tweet] @EvanDykstraOfficial: If hypothetically someone needed to get gum out of their toddler’s hair before their wife gets home, how would one do this? Asking for a friend
[Tweet] @roz81: use olive oil. rub into gum. ta da gum gone
[Tweet] @hazyhayes: Get a lot of gum stuck in your hairdo, Roz?
[Tweet] @roz81: no but holmberg does not know how to spit gum out before napping on plane
—–
or, a childless Ilya Rozanov is somehow the go to guy for everyone’s parenting advice needs
Words: 3,209
children I birthed chat by itspeterlosingwendy
Private note: Part of ilya rozanov: earning his #1 papa mug
[Text] LaPointe: You two can vote too I guess: which of you is the mom and which is the dad?
[Text] Ilya: I am papa clearly
[Text] Shane: We’re neither. Because we’re not your parents…
[Text] Luca: That feels like something only a dad would say
[Text: LaPointe: And not a very good dad 😔
—-
or, a month of texts between Ilya, Shane, and their rookies
Words: 2,423
we’re the product of love (that we do not receive). by Joooceee
Private note: Oh boy! PTSD Ilya. This one hurt!
Maybe together they could figure out a way to make sure Ilya was never afraid of David again. He really didn’t want to be afraid of David.
“Is… silly.” Ilya said. “Maybe not silly, but now that we are here and not there, I see it was silly. I broke the wine, and I thought – maybe everyone will be angry. And…” Clearing his throat, Ilya pushed past his discomfort to spit out the next part. “Well, angry back in Russia is not the same as angry here, I think.”
“What was angry like back in Russia?”
OR
Ilya drops a bottle of wine, and it’s fine. Really, it’s fine. If only someone could tell Ilya’s brain that.
Words: 5,316
Media Availability by AutumnFoxed
Private note: I don’t know why I get put out when Ilya is not captain. Part of the This Is Why We Have Media Training series and they really do! 😀
Ilya turned slightly toward the reporter. “Shane won’t say this, but it’s true. When your captain is calm, you don’t panic. You just… follow him.”
The reporter blinked. “You’re talking about Shane’s leadership?”
Ilya’s smile was devastating. “I am talking about my husband.”
The room sucked in a collective breath. Husband. Said as if they were discussing muffin recipes.
On the internet: Breaking: Shane Hollander maintains perfect composure while his teammate professes eternal devotion live on air.
Shane agrees to one post-game interview with Ilya. Ilya is determined to make sure everyone knows how brilliant, beautiful, and perfect his husband is.
Words: 2,173
It’s all Canadian Vodka’s fault by FriPie
Private note: This was an emotional rollercoaster. Bawling during Shane’s POV, literally LOL’ing for Ilya’s, and all up in all the feelings for the last part. A great piece of writing!
In the early hours of Saturday, the Hockey world was ablaze with the news that Ilya Rozanov was dead. Killed in a tragic car accident leaving behind a slew of devastated fans and a grieving husband still reeling in shock.
The news also came as an incredible shock to Ilya when he awoke that same day, hungover and bleary, but very much alive.
Words: 26,385
Yours to Keep by pinkhairandbooks
Private note: A little bit frustrating but ultimately worth it!
Shane’s team gifts him a soulmate reading with renowned soulmate seer Ilya Rozanov. The problem? Shane doesn’t want to know anything about his soulmate. Ilya promises to keep whatever he sees a secret; that way Shane can stay oblivious, the team won’t find out he refused their gift and the reading still gets done. Everyone wins, right? Wrong.
Guess who turns out to be Shane’s soulmate…
Words: 41,117
5 times Ilya fights the internet for his husband and 1 time he lets them win by lavender_dragon3
Private note: We love unhinged Ilya. Didn’t love Harris in this one but also, not an easy job! Non-coded social media fic.
Ilya knew his husband was beautiful, ethereal, a mystic being who probably appeared once in a century to tempt weak mortal men like him. People may call him whipped or lovesick, and they would be right, but it wasn’t without reason; after all, it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you.
And Ilya never backed down from a fight, even if the fight involved half of the internet.
Words: 23,391
Not How It Happened by Evilharlowe – (author has removed from AO3)
Private note: Really unfortunate that this author was harassed to such a degree that they had to pull their fic. Unfortunately the fandom is at the ‘eating itself’ phase right now. This was a great fic, hero Ilya is another of my favourite versions of him.
Ilya Rozanov has a plan: the girl, the hotel, the clean exit. The plan does not survive first contact with Shane Hollander sitting alone in a corner booth looking spaced out and possibly drugged.
Words: 43,741
mindforbooks.ie 