Sociopath: a Memoir by Patric Gagne – 5⭐

Before I get started on this review I’m going to do some mild complaining about some readers and reviewers of memoirs and autobiographies. Since I’ve started back to my goal of reading one non-fiction book a month, I just so happen to have picked only memoirs and autobiographies, and I’ve started to see a really strange trend when it comes to reviews of these books.

I do get not liking a book or the book the person is about, like that is common and it is what it is but I’m seeing this really odd trend of people rating a book low just because they dislike how these people live or haven’t lived.

I’ve not read it yet, but some of the reviews for Ina Garten’s book really shocked me, people reviewing it low because she had too privileged a life and seems too smug! I mean are people for real? It’s Ina freaking Garten, she is privilege personified, it’s practically her brand!!

So it begs the question, why are people reading these books? Are they reading them to get an insight into these people’s lives or are they hate reading them so they can then feel justified for not liking that person? I’m going to honest, it feels a lot like hate reading. Now look, hate reading is also totally valid and, people can read and review whatever way they want, but it just feels weird to me that a person is going to pick up a book that focuses on a persons lived experience and shit all over it because it’s not the readers lived experience, or the subject of the book hasn’t lived how the reader thinks they should live, or that they feel the author isn’t being ‘truthful’ or whatever else they feel like projecting onto said author.

I know some people like to not rate non-fiction at all. I kind of get it, but ratings really do matter when it comes to sales etc. I personally tend to rate memoirs and autobiographies high, even if the writing isn’t great, I rate high because it’s a look into someone’s life that they didn’t have to share, and even if I don’t particularly like the person, they are giving me an insight I didn’t have before and that’s kind of the point in me reading the book in the first place.

All that rambling brings us to Patric Gagne and her book.

Now, I didn’t know going into this that there was ‘controversy’ around this book and Gagne. I made the mistake of scanning some reviews when I was about halfway through, and plenty of people had lots to say about Gagne and her PhD, her diagnosis and her general trustworthiness in telling her story.

This made me laugh. The book is called SOCIOPATH, and people are questioning her honesty!?! She is not a reliable narrator, she is telling you that by yelling her diagnosis at you, but here is the thing, I honestly don’t think that anyone can be a truly reliable narrator. We all lie to ourselves about so many things in our life, it’s just some people are more truthful (or deluded) than others. Is she on the less trustworthy end of the scale? Probably! But I actually don’t think she cares enough about anyone reading this to outrageously lie, so I felt this book might be more honest than some memoirs and autobiographies I’ve read.

Besides, this book isn’t really for me, she makes it clear that she is writing this book for other sociopaths, she has spent years looking for insight into sociopathy and felt lost when she couldn’t find anything, she plainly states that she wants those people to see that they aren’t alone. She also very plainly states at the beginning that:

This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subject addressed. It is sold with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged in rendering medical, health or any kind of personal or professional services in the book. Readers should consult their own medical, health or other professional before adopting any of the suggestions in this book or drawing inferences from it.

This book really was a fascinating read, as a person whose emotions and feelings can overwhelm and often cause me anxiety it was interesting to read about her experiences with apathy and the unique form of anxiety that caused her to have throughout her life. I often wish I could just shut off my emotions but the idea of living with sociopathy totally stressed me out. It was so strange, but her story often made me anxious and at times I felt almost claustrophobic, it’s hard to describe, I just felt incredibly stressed while reading parts of this. I think I was trying to put myself in her place and it felt so stifling, which surprised me because as I said, I’ve often wished I didn’t feel so much, but I think dealing with a life filled with apathy and not fully understanding the world around you would be much worse than what I deal with. I guess, this book gave me more appreciation for how my brain works, even though sometimes it frustrates me and might need a little bit of outside help. I’m lucky I have options!

I also want to note that I appreciated the fact that Gagne is quick to acknowledge her privilege and points that out numerous times throughout the book. She is incredibly lucky that she was never arrested or punished for the things that she did and if she didn’t come from a privileged background or was a person of colour, I feel very confident saying the outcome would have been very different. Because of that, I think this book does two things, it’s an insight into sociopathy but also an insight into how privilege can play a large roll in shaping the futures of those with mental health conditions. I know this isn’t lost on most people, but I think it’s always worth noting because there are those who think everyone starts off on a level playing field and that’s just not true, if Gagne had not had the privilege her families wealth and ethnicity afforded her, I think she would be in prison.

All and all this was super interesting, I usually find at the end of memoirs and autobiographies that I have a fondness for the author but this time it’s a little different, I truly appreciated all she shared and I’m glad I read this but I can’t say I like the Patric Gagne from this book. I don’t think she is a very likable person and I know I could never be friends with someone like her. That makes me feel incredibly guilty just typing it, and it doesn’t help that I know she really wouldn’t care. I guess I feel bad that her loved ones would feel that as a personal attack on Gagne or something, but it’s not, it’s knowing that someone like her and someone like me are polar opposites and it would all only end in tears. For me! 😀

It’s worth noting that not everyone needs to be friendly or friends, sometimes it’s best for all concerned if they don’t even try! Hmmm, another lesson from reading this perhaps?