I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy – 5⭐

So the title of this book is startling and I’m sure many who haven’t read it would think it’s an uncalled for title, but I’ve got to be honest, I’m also glad Jennette’s mom died. I’m not glad because a person has died, I’m glad because I shudder to think the kind of life Jennette would still be living had her mother still been alive.

Debra McCurdy was obviously very mentally ill but that should never, and could never, excuse the way she treated her whole family. It was just straight up child abuse. The more I read the more horrified I got. Forcing her family to watch home movies of her with cancer every week, (you know, just in case they weren’t properly traumatised when it actually happened), the showering them into their teens and performing intimate physical examinations on at least Jennette. Teaching her daughter how to have an eating disorder. The co-dependency, the hoarding, the mental abuse!

And with all that, she then forced the daughter she was abusing in multiple ways into pursuing her dream of acting, something Jennette just did not want to do. It was so upsetting reading/listening to Jennette talk about how much she didn’t like acting or singing and then feel like she needs to acknowledge her privilege after stating how much she hated her life and just wanted to be a normal kid. I honestly don’t think there is enough money to cover the cost of the trauma she endured.

Of course given the character Jennette played we also get some insights into iCarly, Sam & Cat and Nickelodeon. Thankfully Miranda Cosgrove comes across as a good egg. Ariana Grande and Dan Schneider (‘The Creator’) come across about as well as I thought they would. Look, I love The Wicked Movie and appreciate that Ariana is very talented but I also don’t get good vibes from her. At. All.

Reading between the lines, it would seem that Ariana was behind Jennette not getting to direct the episodes of Sam & Cat she was promised. When she talked about this my heart broke for Jennette, with what she was handling in her personal life being so heavy, this just seemed like such an unnecessary blow. Jennette directing would have had very little impact on Ariana and it just screams mean girl. Dan Schneider not following through on the promise of her directing was the least surprising thing about the whole book. He is utter trash in a million different ways and this is probably the least offensive thing he has ever done. Still unforgiveable though!

Along with the trauma of being forced into acting we also learn that Jennette’s first kiss was on set and then as she aged into relationships her mothers co-dependency got progressively more and more unhinged. It wasn’t surprising that she struggled to find a healthy relationship during the time her mother was alive and after she passed. She for sure didn’t have any healthy relationship footprint to follow and she had so much trauma to work through I’m shocked she was able to find her way to where she is now.

This book is heavy and if you listen to it you’ll hear how emotional it was for Jennette to accept that the things her mother did were abusive, it’s such an authentic narration and it feels so honest and raw. She doesn’t paint herself as an angel or even a victim, she gives, what I think, is an honest account of her life up to the point of writing it and it just so happens that her life so far had been horrific. I hope she has a peaceful, healthy and beautiful life going forward.